


Letters to Superman

by tortoises_in_love



Series: Brighter Than The Sun [1]
Category: Supergirl (Comics), Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Letter fic, Slow Burn, Slow as in glacial, sooooo slow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-04-21 12:24:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14284866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tortoises_in_love/pseuds/tortoises_in_love
Summary: Kara teaches Clark about Krypton via letter writing. She is somewhat successful. In more ways than one.





	1. Kara

**Author's Note:**

> So I've been struggling with this for a while. I knew I wanted to write about Kara and Winn (because they were never given justice in the show and it BOTHERS me) and I also wanted to write Kara and Lena (cause HELLO chemistry, wham slam thank you ma'am) and I also really wanted to try my hand at polyamory. But I had no idea how to actually go about telling this story. I couldn't wrap my head around the episodic structure and how to re-do it in a way that was still readable and engaging. And I know, letter fic isn't exactly popular. But I was reading OurImpavidHeroines 'Please Excuse My Penmanship' (which is beautiful please go read it you can thank me later) when it hit me! Writing this, at least the beginning, as a letter solves all of my problems. Kara's voice has always been super clear to me, now I only had to translate the story into her words which was SO MUCH EASIER than trying to do it literally any other way. 
> 
> Anyway, all this to say I hope you enjoy it!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara takes a trip down memory lane.

Dear Clark,

You asked me to tell you about Krypton. Well, here goes nothing! I know uncle Jor-El sent his mind capsule with you as a guide but you can only program so much into a limited space, and there's more to a world than history and science. 

You were a miracle baby. Did I ever tell you that? The first naturally born baby in over three centuries. Our scientists believed we'd lost the ability long ago but, there you were. Father always did say Jor-El was the smart one. Of course, Jor-El was a biologist and Father was a botanist but still. He always used to tell me I was meant for great things. I used to think he peaked at my gene-code and was trying to give me hints. On Krypton you're not born, not in the traditional sense anyway. You're grown using the genetic material from your parents and engineered to your greatest potential. We were very concerned with that; potential. To be our best selves. So, when you're born you have your whole life already laid out for you. Your career, social class, even who you'll marry. Although that's a bit less strict science and more _woo-woo_ in my opinion. Mother used to say Rao had tied red strings of destiny to the inside of our ribs to lead us to our perfect match. I liked that idea better than being genetically engineered to love a specific person at first sight. 

I know how that sounds to someone who didn't grow up there. But Krypton was utopia compared to other planets. Sure we had our faults, which of course led to our destruction. Humans have strange ideas about free will. Like it's the be all end all of happiness. We had free will to a point; you operated within your own will in the circle in which you were placed. We made our own choices, free to make mistakes, but the structure of our society limited those mistakes a great deal. We had no poverty, no issue with world hunger. Everyone fulfilled a purposeful function that gave them personal satisfaction while also benefiting society as a whole. That probably invokes some strange sci-fi robot dystopian image for you, nerd that you are. But it was what it was. 

I still dream about it. The violet oceans of Turan, the Yalaran blossoms that grew outside my bedroom window, the smell of the wind in the hot season. I dream of day trips to the Haloran valley, swimming in the lake and Cara-Uam. The sound of Ora's laughter. I miss the sky. It was bigger than on Earth, wider and deeper. You could see the stars better. I miss our constellations; Saroium and Ulapturus, Calamara and Hamam Ura. We lived on the edge of Argo City, next to the Terraform compound were Father worked, trying to find a way for Kryptonians to inhabit other planets. If only he had succeeded. 

_Tuam moro_ , it means 'here are my thoughts'. As you know Krypton was centuries ahead of Earth in terms of technology. Holograms, voice messaging across interplanetary lines, the sort of stuff that only exists in science fiction here. That was reality for us. However, letter writing, _tuam moro_ , was considered to be a gesture of great respect. If you wanted to make a good impression, or express deep emotion or show someone how much you trusted them; you wrote a letter. By hand. We had to practice in school. I used to hate it, I could never understand what the point was when you could just call someone and speak face to face. 

I remember once, in academy, my best friend Ban-Ko would write little notes and pass them to me. Silly things, nonsense to distract me when I was frustrated, make me laugh. Mada-Ra caught us once during a test and I thought for sure we'd end up on punishment duty in the fields. We were supposed to be writing to our Academy head to express our gratitude or something. But she just stood there, holding Ban-Ko's stupid note and smiling before she handed it back to me. She said; 'My husband used to write me notes just like these when we were young,' and then winked at me! I was so red in the face Ban called me Galoran for the rest of the day. (I don't know how well versed you are in Kryptonian astrology, but Galoran was the name of a red giant four kriniks from our solar system, we'd just learned about it and Ban thought we was funny.)

I was going to marry him. Or the Kryptonian version anyway, it's not entirely the same as it was on earth but it's generally similar. It's more of a formality than anything else. He was my _Halanath Morum_ , which means 'my heart in you'. It's essentially just a genetic matching of our respective DNA but still, he was my best friend. He died before Krypton, after a terrorist attack at the Academy caused the ceiling to collapse. That was the year you were born, a year before Krypton died. I never thought I'd be able to live without him. Losing a match, even a young one like that, unconfirmed... most don't survive it. Father said it was because your body couldn't compensate for the loss of it's partner so eventually it just died. I didn't have much time to grieve of course, after that happened they discovered the terrorists had disrupted a planetary fissure and jump started _magnum pari-am_ which is basically the apocalypse. 

It was a long year, let's just say. The highlight of which being you by the way. Our very own miracle baby. It's sad Ora never got to meet you, she would have loved you. She was our cousin, Astra's daughter. She was tri-born; engineered from a three-way bond. Triangle marriages weren't uncommon per-se, but they were seen as special, and the children born from them even more so. She was something else; artisan track, completely beautiful. She was five years older than me and I adored her. She looked like Astra for the most part; long blonde hair and the same fine bone structure. But when she smiled she was the spitting image of In-Ra. She had their eyes too, soft and brown with little crinkles at the corner when she laughed. In-Ra was my favorite relative, born with a genetic defect; a mistake in the DNA coding which resulted in a non-gender. At least that's what Father said. But In-Ra was beautiful, and funny and so full of love. You couldn't help but adore them, and who else could have put up with two people as stiff necked and stubborn as Astra and Non? Ora was just like them. She was slotted to travel to the neighboring system to study the masters in the Tan quadrant after she finished at the training school. She died in an earthquake in Haloran Jungle two years before you were born. In-Ra was never the same. 

Well this is a gloomy letter, sorry about that! I'm sure you would much rather talk about the good things on Krypton than the sad stuff. I know! Your mother, Lara, she used to collect these beautiful little figurines, they were of _fidiha_ , which are sort of like horses only they have two tails and they're gem colored. She had so many of them, all in this little room at their house. Tiny exquisit carved ones made out of jade rock or matekite, even one made out of wood from Trinia; a forest planet not far from ours. She had this one in particular; it was all black and a little shiny with bright blue gems for eyes. It was so life like. I used to run my fingers over the tail whenever I was at their house. She said it was given to her by her mother, who had been from the east. Apparently she was descendent from the Tilian Line, or the old Royalty. The Monarchy was dissolved centuries ago of course, but the bloodline never quite ran out. So I guess that makes you a prince huh? Lucky. 

How is Metropolis these days anyway? I haven't been there since last Christmas when the General showed up and got in a fight with Lois. Lovely man the General. Really, what a riot. If I never see him again it'll be too soon. I met Jimmy today. Thank you for, you know, outing me to him. Appreciate it. How is it okay again for you to tell your best friend about the whole alien thing but I'm not allowed to tell mine? Winn is way more trustworthy than Jimmy is! Just because James is unfairly good looking does not make him better at keeping secrets. 

Diana say's I should just tell him and damn the consequences and really, who am I to argue with Wonder Woman? Winn deserves to know, he's been my best friend for over five years. It feels weird not telling him, he's practically family at this point. Besides, if Bruce gets mad then I'll just blame Diana and let them duke it out. You know he's totally scared of her right? Wise man. I mean, I can bench press a bus and I'm scared of Diana. I know you like to pretend you're not but we can all see through that. Everyone is scared of Diana, she's terrifying. 

Alex is here now. I have a date tonight, some online thing. Eliza said I should try and ‘get out there’ or whatever. I tried to explain that I don’t date but she wasn’t really listening. She gets sort of weird when I talk about Krypton or, y’know, the fact that I’m an alien. I think she likes to pretend I’m ‘normal’. 

I know she's just worried about me but honestly, it's a little suffocating. It's one thing to have the League walk on eggshells around me like I'm a bomb or something but this? I'm not a naive little girl anymore, if I ever was. In spite of what you all seem to think I am entirely capable of taking care of myself. And what's so great about being normal anyway? I can fly! Being able to fly kicks the pants off 'normal' any day. I just wish she'd leave me alone about the whole dating thing. I've been resigned to being a cat lady for years now, or a dog lady. Bunny lady? I could totally be a bunny lady. 

Alex is glaring at me now so I must leave. Wish me luck! And seriously Clark, if you ever want to talk about Krypton just ask me. It’s not like I have anyone else to talk to about it. 

_Balarath Iri-Rao_  
By Rao's Light  
Kara Zor-El


	2. Clark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clark's response, along with an announcement or two.

Dear Kara,

I’m not sure about the wisdom of keeping physical copies of these letters. If the wrong person gets their hands on them it could be disastrous. I suppose though if we are the only one’s handling them; not that I don’t trust our postal system but- well. 

Lois sends her regards, she’s off in India working on some new story involving eunuchs. She’s very excited about it so I’m trying to be supportive. 

About Winn; look, I’m sorry I told Jimmy about you. It wasn’t my place and I apologise. I’ve known Jimmy for a long time, I trust him. Lois trusts him. He’s a good guy, you should give him a chance. He could really use a friend there, he’s been through a lot in the past few months. 

I’m not so sure telling Winn is a good idea, granted I’ve only met the guy a handful of times he came across a bit...frazzled. Disorganized. I’m not saying he’s untrustworthy per se but who’s to say he won’t accidentally let something slip to the wrong person. I don’t want to put you in a difficult place Kara, I’m just thinking about what’s best for you. 

Thank you, though, I can’t say I have anyone to talk to about Krypton either. I’ve tried to discuss it with Lois, and she tries to understand I know but...it’s hard. In my heart I feel like I’m still just that boy from Kansas who watched his father die. No matter how much time I spend learning about my heritage I’ll always be Martha and Jon’s son. 

It’s hard to imagine another world. Another planet that I belong to. A family I’ve never known. I want to learn, to understand more, it’s just difficult to know where to begin. Often it feels as though I do nothing but play catch up to everyone around me. Compared to Bruce I’m a novice, compared to Diana I’m a child. At least I outrank Barry, but then so does everyone else. Except for you of course. 

Lois says it’s good for me, keeps me humble. I suppose she’s right, she is about most things. I know you two don’t get along but you’re more alike than either of you will admit. 

Pa always said the best way to learn was to ask questions. Silly of me but I thought I was done asking questions after college. You never do stop learning though. 

What were my parents like? On Krypton? I want to know more than what Jor-El can tell me. What did my mother look like? How big was our family? What did they all do? I’m not sure I understand how professions worked on Krypton. From what you’ve said no one really had a choice in what field they went into. It was all pre-prescribed from birth. 

Perhaps I’m just a plebe but the lack of free will does sound troubling. Jor-El never told me about the marriage thing, though to be fair I haven’t asked. Soulmates though? I shouldn’t be surprised considered I’m literally an alien having a conversation with another alien about our alien heritage. Do you ever feel like you’re stuck in a fantasy novel that you can’t escape? 

I am sorry, Kara, if this is painful for you to discuss. I cannot imagine the pain you must be in. I don’t think I ever really stopped to consider what you had lost. Not just a family but a planet, your home, and all that entails. If you want to you know you can always talk to me about anything. This Ban-Ko person, and what he meant to you. Our cousin Ora. Ma says the dead live on in us, that we can honor them by talking about them. You can always talk to me Kara. No matter what. 

I know the past few years have been busy for us, we haven’t had much time to catch up. We should re-institute game night, maybe on weekends. Perhaps we can get Bruce or Diana to join, Hal maybe if he’s on planet. We’ll probably have to beat Barry off with a stick. Who knows when his Highness will be back, besides he’s not much of a team player. 

How are things at Catco? I’ve heard the stories about her, I hope she’s not riding you too hard. Lois had some rather strong language in regards to her character, but I won’t impose that on you now. You’re right, you’re a grown adult now and you can make your own decisions. 

I think Eliza’s just worried that you’re lonely. Have you tried discussing this more in depth with her? I know it might be uncomfortable but she deserves to hear the truth about why you don’t want to date. 

Things at the Planet are the same as always; busy and generally anxious. Perry wants to send me to Berlin next month to cover some politicians speech on foreign policy. My german’s a bit rusty but I’ll have to give it my best. It means I won’t see Lois until she gets back though. 

I...well I’m planning sort of a special dinner for when we’re both in the same place at the same time. Barolli’s Diner isn’t the fanciest place but it’s meaningful for us- Kara I’m going to ask Lois to marry me. Ma gave me Granny’s ring and I have everything planned out. I know she’ll say yes. I also know you and her don’t exactly get along. But Kara you’re my family, besides Martha you’re the only family I have left. I want your blessing. 

I’m going to ask Jimmy to be my best man, and I’m having dinner with the General next month to see if I can talk him around to making nice with Lois. It’s a long shot I know but she deserves to have her dad walk her down the isle. 

I know you’re going to say I’m rushing things, and maybe I am, but I love her. From the moment I saw her I loved her. It was like- I don’t know how to describe it. For a long time I didn’t know how to trust other people, how to masquerade among them and play pretend. Everyone, no matter how kind, was a potential threat to my identity. To Ma. Until I met her. It was like I instantly knew I could trust her with everything. Ridiculous I know considering the circumstances were what they were. I love her Kara. I’m going to spend my life with her. 

So if you could try and be cordial that would be nice. I’d like to avoid bloodshed if at all possible. There’ll be enough of that with Bruce and Diana. 

It’s late here, and while I may be ‘super’ I do occasionally require sleep. Before I sign this thing I should tell you that Lex has been moved; some high-security military prison in the north. His mother is livid, and possibly scheming as we speak. What’s more his little sister; Lena, has taken over the company. According to Bruce she’s moving to National City, launching a rebranding campaign to wash the stain of Lex away. 

I’ll be keeping an eye out but I just thought you should be aware. 

Best regards,  
Clark Kent


	3. Kara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara comes out, and talks about Krypton some more.

Dear Clark,

I really need you to be excited for me. I know you’ve been busy this past week with the whole super thing and Lois but...I came out. Sort of- you know what I mean I- it just sort of happened. 

I wasn’t planning on it, really I wasn’t it’s just. The day I sent the last letter? Well Alex had this flight for work and the date wasn’t going well. I had known it wasn’t going to but it still hurts to have a guy walk out on you. So it’s possible I wasn’t in the best frame of mind when it happened. 

I’m not telling this correctly. I’m still a bit frazzled, it’s been...well there’s a lot. More than just what you’ve no doubt seen on the news. I don’t regret it. I _can’t_ regret it. You were off world and Alex’s plane was crashing. I couldn’t just let her die. I can’t lose someone else Clark, I don’t think I’d survive it. 

Gosh but I was just so excited. For the first time since...well if I’m honest for the first time since arriving on earth I finally felt like I was doing the right thing. Like I was living up to my mother’s expectations of me. I can't even- I caught a plane! I did that I actually literally did that. I wonder what mother would have said if she could have- 

Mother...don’t get me wrong. I love my mother. She was a great woman; Head of the Judiciary Guild, a pillar of the community. People across entire star systems looked up to her. It was just a hell of a shadow to live under y’know? Before I- before they sent me away she sat me down for a chat. Really laid it out for me. It- it was a lot. It still is. 

Now, Alura An-Ze is many things; beautiful, brilliant, incredibly intimidating. But she was also deeply compassionate. She placed her family above all else. It wasn’t something a lot of people knew about her, she played a lot of things close to the vest. From her position you sort of had to. 

I don’t know how much Jor-El’s told you about Kryptons Judiciary system, but it wasn’t too unlike America’s. After we dissolved the Monarchy the Council was founded, the five representatives elected by the people to represent all of Krypton before the Inter-Galactic Court. Each representative was elected from one of the Guild houses; Judiciary, Stratarian, Epistemic, Serviciary and Artisan. 

Jor-El was the head of the Epistemic Guild; the scientists. Mom was the head of the Judiciary. Your birth changed things, for everyone. And for a long while we couldn’t tell anyone. At the time I thought it was all terribly exciting. Our own family secret. Our own miracle. 

See, the fact that you were born? Actually, _physically_ born? That changed everything we knew about anything. It would have fundamentally shifted the basis of our entire society. Perhaps for the better, though now we’ll never know. So we had to keep you a secret. Mother said if people knew about you then it would put you and Aunt Lara in danger. That certain people on the Council would object to a shift of that magnitude. At the time I thought she was being dramatic. I know better now. 

You were born. And we were all so happy. I remember sitting there and Lara letting me hold you and you were so small. So tiny and squishy and _real_ , I couldn’t- I still can’t find the words to describe that feeling. Mother sat across from me and just stared into nothing for a long time. I wasn’t sure what to say, or what she might say. What even was there to say? What words are there to capture that moment? None that I had known or have learned since. 

Finally she looked at you and said, ‘We have to protect him, Kara.’ You had this adorable tuft of black hair that stuck up on the top of your head. Jor-El said it would eventually fall out but I used to love to run my fingers through it, fluff it out into different styles. You were one hell of a cute kid Clark. 

‘He’s our future.’ Mother had said and then grabbed my hand and squeezed really hard, staring at me with this huge intensity. I think she knew, then, what was coming. What they would have to do. ‘Promise me you will protect him.’ And what else could I say? I was fourteen years old, I’d already lost a cousin and a best friend. 

But then I got here and you were already grown up, already a superhero with your own team. Stronger than I’d ever even thought possible. I was so lost Clark. Not just because I’d lost everything I’d ever known but- the last thing my mother told me to do, the thing I’d promised to do- it was gone. 

Alex doesn’t understand. How could she? I don’t really talk about...this sort of stuff with her. I don’t really know how. Even after everything, all she see’s is me in danger. Her baby sister who she needs to protect. But I’m not a baby, and I am more than capable of protecting myself. Whats more, what’s _worse_ , what’s so much worse Clark- she lied to me. She lied to me Clark, about everything. 

She’s been working with the DEO, she- she has my pod. The last thing I have from my home. I don’t even know how they got it! I thought, I don’t even know what I thought. Everything was so confusing after I landed I didn’t know. How could she do this to me? How could she keep this from me? And she has the gall to yell at me for saving her life! 

I’m angry Clark. I’m so angry all the time and I can’t- I can’t _do_ anything about it. Sparring with you and Diana can only do so much and half the time you’re busy anyway. I can’t even look at her right now. 

It’s so frustrating! On Krypton I was the daughter of Alura, a member of the Stratarian Guild. I was respected and given responsibility, expected to follow my aunt as one of the great generals of our world. I knew what I was doing and people treated me as an equal. Here I’m-broken. Alex’s baby sister who needs to be protected. Your cousin who can’t control her powers. A pain in Bruce’s side, Diana’s student. I need something that’s _mine_ Clark. I’m so tired of being condescended to by everyone around me. 

I am twenty seven years old Clark, I have been to twelve different planets, I carried a plane on my back for Rao’s sake! I have lost more in my life than most people ever have, I can speak over thirty languages half of which don’t even exist on this planet! I know things about science and technology that people on this world won’t even discover for the next fifty years! I don’t need to be protected from the world. I have seen the universe I know what’s out there, better than you even. I’m tired of hiding. I won’t- I _can’t_ do it anymore. 

I told Winn. And before you start rolling your eyes or doing that judgment thing with your eyebrows- I trust him. You don’t know him like I do and- I trust him. It’s my secret and it’s my decision. He at least is excited for me. James too, in case you were wondering. 

Catco has been, it’s okay. It’s a challenge, but I’m good at it. I’m good here. For now at least. I won’t say I want to be Cat Grant’s assistant for the rest of my life but for now it’s working. Being close to Winn is a bonus. 

Sorry, wow I really needed to get all that off my chest I guess. There’s so much I want to tell you about Krypton, our family. You’re mother was beautiful, one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever met. The Tilian line, your ancestors, were all dark haired. A long line of raven haired kings and queens. You get your hair from her, and your nose. Her skin was more of an olive color though, from her jungle heritage. She spoke with a Yalaran dialect, similar to an earthen middle eastern accent. 

Her parents died when she was young, the Violet Fever which ravaged the villages where she grew up. She met Jor-El at the Academy, he used to say he fell in love at first sight. Which is of course a simple matter of science, but it was still romantic. She was tall, and muscular like the Yalaran women of her home. With long black hair that she wore in waves down her back. She used to wear a lot of bronze and ivory, I was so jealous because she could pull it off so much better than I could. Her eyes were dark, and mysterious with these ridiculous eyelashes. She was the kind of beautiful that is extraordinarily hard to look away from. She had this laugh- she wasn’t humorous so much, most Yalaran’s aren’t. They’re a fairly serious people, born of hardship as they are. But when she smiled her face transformed, and her laugh could make everything, even tragedy, seem far away. 

You remind me of her, more than Jor-El anyway. You have her hope, her optimism. Your eyes are Jor-El’s though, the eyes of the House of El. Blue like the sea’s of Tanarath. 

We had a large family, spread out and well connected. I guess you could say we had our fingers in every pie. I’m pretty sure we were related to half the Council, at least. Lara was an artist, a painter who was featured in galeria’s across the inter-planetary allegiance. She was very talented. 

She would have been so proud of you Clark. Not just the whole hero thing, but you as Clark Kent, reporter for the Daily Planet. And, though it pains me to admit, she would have probably liked Lois too. 

To be fair, I don’t hate Lois. She’s just- she grates on my nerves. She’s so controlling, constantly sticking her nose in my business. If I wanted her to know I’d tell her! Not to mention how opinionated she is! I don’t care how many awards she’s won for her writing it doesn’t actually change the facts of the situation. Just because you can spin a story to suit your narrative does not make it factually accurate.

But, my relationship with Lois aside. I’m happy for you. She makes you happy, how I feel about her shouldn’t matter. Good luck with the General though, you might just be better tossing him into the sun from what I’ve heard of the man. 

As far as my...debut, I guess we could call it. I’m doing this. Winn is helping me, James too. I don’t care what Alex has to say about it. It’s my life and it’s my decision. I would like for you to be a part of it. 

Winn tried to make me this ridiculous costume, complete with skirt and boots. He was so excited, gave me these big puppy dog eyes and that stupid dopey grin of his. I think he had visions of me flying around and kicking bad guy butt in a red skirt and heels. Like some corny CW show. I laughed so hard when he showed me (a reaction which was not wholly appreciated a assure you) but really, who fights crime in heels? But- well when Dad sent me away he sent me with my armor. It’d just been made for me by the Academy. It’s not unlike yours actually, though you have been running around in three hundred year-old underwear, honestly Clark. Mine is newer, the most recent technology out of Krypton, heat and tear resistant Colypothynate, which doesn’t exist on earth but essentially it grows with me which is nice. The material is literally coded to my DNA, so it absorbs the suns radiation much the same way that I do. The cape is technically for ceremonial use only since we weren’t actually able to fly on Krypton and going to battle in a cape is ridiculous. Here though it should help control my turns when I fly. 

It’s full body, like yours, dark blue with the emblem for the House of El on the front. I remember getting it, just a week before- before it happened. I was so excited. It was one of the first times since Ban that I’d felt truly happy to be at the Academy. The receiving of one’s armor is sort of a big deal. It meant I was moving up from novice to the Battle School, I would have been off world in a month if it hadn’t, well. 

Anyway, I never thought I’d get to use it here. I guess I was wrong. I really want you to be excited for me about this. I’m happy, I’m actually happy Clark. I know I don’t talk about it very often, but life has been- hard, these past years. I try, so hard, to put a good face on it. To live for them, to remember them and honor them. My parents would want me to be happy I know but- until last week I didn’t feel like I was living up to their expectations of me. Now? Doing this? I finally feel like myself. Like the version of me that I was on Krypton. 

Say hello to Lois for me. Try not to frown too much.  
_Balarath Iri-Rao_  
By Rao’s Light  
Kara Zor-El

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this took a while, I wasn't sure how to incorporate how Kara 'comes out', and I'm still trying to fit in her thing with Winn without coming right out and saying it. (Also, yes Clark is def trying to set up her and James, poor boy.)


	4. Clark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clark gives his opinion on things, and a little bit more.

Dear Kara,

I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to write. Things have been- stressful, in Metropolis. Lex has been moved to a maximum security prison somewhere in the Atlantic. Only Bruce, myself and the head of ARGUS are aware of the location, perhaps if we’re lucky it’ll even stay that way. 

As for everything else, I can’t say I’m surprised. I always knew you were meant for more than the background. You’ve always been a hero Kara, more so than me even. I knew it was only a matter of time before you stepped out, started putting the rest of us to shame. Bruce- well, let me worry about Bruce. 

Lois said yes. I know it shouldn’t be a surprise but- I’m so happy Kara. I’m really truly happy, more than I can say. That I have your approval, even begrudgingly, means a lot. 

My lunch with the General didn’t exactly go to plan unfortunately. He can be...stubborn. Very stubborn. He says he doesn’t approve; though whether he’s talking about me or Lois is unclear. Lucy says to give him time but I’m not so sure. As for Lois well- we’re not going to wait for him to figure out how he feels about this. We’re getting married whether he likes it or not. 

Lucy is the maid of honor, but I was talking to Lois and we- well I would like it very much if you were one of the brides maids. I know you two don’t exactly see eye to eye but, after this you’ll be family. I would like for you to be a part of it in any event. 

I never knew how much there was to plan for a wedding, Lois is all in a tizzy over the venue and hiring a caterer. She spent all of yesterday talking about cakes and fabrics. I might have tuned out a bit, it’s something of a blur. 

But she said yes! Lois is going to be my wife. My wife. It’s a strange thing to say. Even stranger to write. Lois Kent. Mrs. Lois Kent. Why is it that only the woman’s name changes? What if I wanted to become Mr. Clark Lane? For some reason it doesn’t sound right. 

Jimmy say’s I’m overthinking it. He and Lucy are talking again apparently. I’m not sure how I feel about that. Not that I’m one to stick my nose where it isn’t wanted, but I can’t help but feel she isn’t right for him. They didn’t work out the first time for very viable reasons, I just don’t want a repeat. Besides, Jimmy’s been doing well in National hasn’t he? He talks a lot about you actually, you’ve made quite the impression, as I knew you would. 

You haven't met Lucy yet have you? She's Lois's little sister, but they only recently started talking again. Lucy has always been closer to the General, followed in his footsteps more than Lois ever cared too. She's a military lawyer, officially Major Lucy Lane of the JAG corps. Lois is proud of her, I know, even if she doesn't come right out and say it. She also worries a lot. The General puts a lot of pressure on Lucy as the only daughter on speaking terms with him. She and Jimmy were together for two years, I was sure they were going to get married but- Lucy has always been very serious about her career. Apparently more serious than she was about Jimmy. 

I don't mean to gossip, really, but I worry about him. I'm glad he's getting distance, it's good for him. But I'm also not there to scare Lucy away now that she's trying to rekindle things. She's not a bad person, but she hurt Jimmy quite a bit. I'm reluctant to allow her to do so again. I won't ask you to spy for me, but if you could keep an eye on things I'd feel a great deal better. 

As far as the DEO and Alex are concerned- I can’t say much on Alex, I don’t know her very well but I do know that she cares very much for you. The DEO on the other hand cannot be trusted. I know Bruce has something going on with them that he hasn’t let me in on. Not that I have much desire to know; I don’t trust them. They've been trying to develop synthetic Kryptonite for years now. It's not possible, I know, but the implications being what they are. Bruce doesn't trust them either but that's not saying much. Bruce doesn't trust anyone. Whatever he’s doing I’ll have to talk to him now that family is involved. 

But Kara, Alex is your sister, blood aside she’s been your sister for the past thirteen years. That has to count for something. Whatever is wrong with the DEO I believe Alex was only trying to do what was right. What she believed you would have done. I’ve never had a sibling, so I don’t know what that’s like, but I do know that when it comes to family you do anything you can to keep them safe. Just, keep that in mind. 

Your pod though, that’s a problem. We can’t trust it with the DEO, that level of technology, the possibility of intel on you specifically. I can be in National by tomorrow morning, with this letter, to talk in person about retrieving it. I’ll leave planning that until then.

You were right, when you said it wasn’t fair of us to treat you like a child. You’re not. I’ve never received anything but the respect and reverence of my peers, excluding Bruce. I don’t know what it’s like to be condescended to, or to lose that feeling of equality from the people closest to me. You deserve better Kara, from me and from everyone else. So I won’t tell you if including Winn was right or not. I made the call to trust Jimmy and no one questioned it, so I have to trust your instincts. 

That being said, I’d like to meet him. You speak so highly of his character and I truly haven’t had a chance to get to know him. Now that he knows about you, I’d like to have that chance. Jimmy say’s he’s an alright guy, and he’s important to you. That makes him important to me too. 

What you wrote about my mother- I’ve never been able to picture her. When I try and picture my mom I picture Martha. As old as she gets, as her hair turns grey and the crows feet around her eyes deepen. She will always be my Ma. The woman who tucked me in and sang me to sleep, who talked me down from panic attacks and taught me how to cook. 

But Lara? This stranger from another world who gave birth to me. Gave her life for mine. It- I have no words for how I feel about never getting the chance to meet her, know her, to even see her face. 

When I was twelve years old, I kissed a girl for the first time. Her name was Judy O'Malley and she had this wild curly red hair that used to fascinate me. I would stare at it during class, wondering how she kept it out of her face while she studied. I was distracted while studying for a math test and Ma rapped my knuckles with a wooden spoon. She used to do that, just wack me with whatever she had at hand that was most convenient. Not meanly, or particularly hard just, loud and startling to get my attention. I used to day dream a lot as a kid. 

“Clark you’re head’s so far in the clouds you’re liable to catch a bird.” she’d say, or some other charming colloquialism, she has quite the arsenal. She asked me what I was thinking about and I told her. She was like that, still is; straight to the point, so easy to talk to. Before you know what's happened you've spilled your guts and she's probably made some sort of pie. She just sat there with her big brown eyes and listened to me ramble. Very practical, Ma is. Pa used to say if only the President had a Martha we’d have achieved world peace by now. 

She laughed herself hoarse after I told her about Judy. She took my face in her hands and kissed my forehead. “Oh Clark,” she’d say, in that way of her’s that meant I was adorably naive. “Why don’t you ask her over for dinner, hm?” And I did, I was so nervous I almost threw up but I asked her to dinner. Ma made meatloaf and it was awkward and stilted but after we ate I took her for a walk around to the barn to see the horses and kissed her in the hay loft. It was dry and awkward and everything else a first kiss is supposed to be. 

I wonder what Lara would have thought, what she would have said about Judy. What would her advice have been? Would she have made meatloaf and called me a fool? After Pa died Ma stopped singing. She used to sing all the time, old hymns and gospel music. She had a real soft spot for soul music. Lovely voice too, carried right out over the fields, clear as a bell. Then one day she just starts singing again. _How Great Thou Art_ , I walked into the kitchen and there she was, standing with her eyes closed and her arms raised and I just- it was one of those moments, you know? So I didn’t interrupt, I just stood and watched her sing. She was crying by the end of it, so was I if I’m being honest. But she looked at me, took my hand and hugged me and said- ‘He loved that song.’ 

He did too, played it all the time. Couldn’t sing worth a damn. Ma used to throw water at him when he tried, said he sounded like a dying pig. But he’d belt that one out, used to say ‘voice or not, it’s a man’s duty to worship his God.’ So he’d sing. 

I never knew if I believe in God. Ma and Pa did, we went to church every Sunday, learned all the songs. Ma was very adamant about all of it. Read me the bible every night, Pa lead us in prayer. I just- I’m an alien, how could there be a God- or how could the bible be right in all it’s tellings if there are aliens? It used to bother me a lot after Pa told me. Before that I used to think I was possessed, how else do you explain my powers? But after-I was never sure. 

Ma calls this foolishness. ‘If God can make mountains and men he can make life on other worlds.’ I suppose she must be right. But that’s just it. What about the religion of Krypton? The history? What did my mother believe in? My father? Did she used to sing me to sleep like Martha did? Would Jor-El have taught me how to drive and pick my battles, how to shave and fix a car. 

Ma says’ I get too much in my head about it all, as far as she see’s it I’m doubly blessed, because I have four parents who loved me. She’s right, I know. Jor-El and Lara gave their lives for mine. But the loss remains, the ache of not knowing. Not being able to know who they were. 

I’m getting maudlin now. Lois says that happens after too long spent in space. There’s something about the silence that lends itself to introspection. In any event it’s not very conducive to productivity. I still have to finish my piece on the Germans- who are terribly boring by the way- and a conversation to have with Bruce before tomorrow. If not he’ll just have to deal with the fallout. That’s what he gets for keeping me out of things. 

I’ll see you soon,  
Clark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this fic is almost over, I've decided it's going to be the first in a series. I realize I can't do all I want to do in a letter fic, so this will just go until Astra shows up and then I'll start part two. I'll be able to set the ground work for the ships I'm working on, and expound on them in the second part. Hopefully it works!


	5. Cat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara gives an interview

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have the attention span of a flea, and I tend to get bored with monotony. I couldn't do the whole straight back and forth between Clark and Kara anymore. As much as I love writing

**How Does She Do It?**   
An interview with Supergirl herself  
 _By Cat Grant_

Key: Cat Grant - _Supergirl_

When I had initially sent out feelers to set up an interview with National City’s very own superhero, I had expected a little more finesse. A little...professionalism you could say. Perhaps a meeting at a neutral location, safe from the bustle and cameras of day to day life. A message sent through a friend of a friend. Delivered with poise and courtesy.

Needless to say I was not expecting to have my car plucked from the street with me inside of it and flown to God knows where all to accommodate Supergirl's flair for the dramatic. And yet that is where I found myself, stumbling out into the cool night air to be faced by the hero that I had named. The hero I had helped to cultivate. What ensued was to be the interview of a lifetime, I knew, but I also couldn’t help but notice how young she looked. Hardly more than a teenager in a costume, round cheeked and cherubic in her navy onesie. 

News footage does not do her justice. Supergirl is of average height, with golden blonde hair that she wears in a wolf braid and piercing blue eyes that even in the dim light of evening are difficult to look away from. She is beautiful to be sure, but also something else. Like a flower just shaking herself out in the daylight; new and bright but still unsure of her place in the world. The suit- well, it’s not exactly haute couture but then neither are those blue pajamas Mr.Man wears all over Metropolis. Muscular, yes like an Olympic athlete’s wet dream, filling out her strange alien armor well with a short red cape fluttering the in faint breeze of the roof as she hovered before me like some Grecian goddess descent from Valhalla to deliver judgement on the masses. 

 

_Ms. Grant. I heard you wanted to talk._

Supergirl. Yes, do you mind if I record this? 

(with notable hesitation) _I suppose that’s fine._

So; Supergirl, tell me: who are you? Where do you come from? And why have you only revealed yourself now?

_Is it entirely necessary to call me Supergirl?_

You object?

_It’s a little condescending don’t you think?_

Not at all, after all you are a girl. As am I. What’s wrong with being a ‘girl’?

_Obliviousness doesn’t suit you Ms. Grant. No one would dare to call the Man of Steel Super’boy’. Nor would they deign to call Wonder Woman Wonder Girl. If we as women are supposed to set the example- to build each other up- shouldn’t we be giving each other the best tools possible? How seriously will I be taken now that you have dubbed me ‘Supergirl’. Inherently less than Superman. Names matter, Ms. Grant, I would expect you of all people to understand that._

(I admit I was a bit taken aback) Alright, what would you be called then?

(She shook her head) _It doesn’t matter anymore. The damage has been done, you and I both know there’s no taking something like this back once it’s out there._

Indeed. You have my apologies. (a beat of awkward silence follows while Supergirl hovers in front of me) 

_I’m from Krypton, a planet far from here. It was-_

Destroyed yes I know, we’ve already heard all of that from the guy in Metropolis. What’s your relation to him? Are you his girlfriend? Little sister perhaps?

(Supergirl snorts) _Kal-El and I share a bond- that is all you need to know._

And your name? We all know Kal-El; what about you?

_My name doesn’t matter, who I was on Krypton isn’t important._

Then what is? Why have you waited all this time to reveal yourself? Why now?

(Supergirl is silent for a long moment, until abruptly she lands- boots crunching on the gravel) _I needed to be ready. My powers- we didn’t have them on Krypton. Only here- on earth are we like this. Kal-El- he grew into his powers. He bears no memories of Krypton, our home or what we lost when it was destroyed. I do. Through- unavoidable circumstances I was delayed in coming here. As a result I am notably stronger than he is. With that strength I needed to learn control. I needed to know that I was ready and capable, not just willing._

So you’re saying not only are you older than the Man of Steel, you’re also more powerful? 

(Supergirl laughs) _In a manner of speaking. On Krypton I was- I guess the closest equivalent you have here is a cadet. But that’s not entirely accurate. I was trained from birth to fight. To protect people- to think strategically and tactfully. I was born to fight for those who cannot fight for themselves. Kal-El was born with the privilege of choice, to do whatever he wished to do. And he has. But I- saving people is all I ever wanted to do. I was unable to save my home, my family. It is the least I can do to protect earth; my new home._

Well. I think I speak for all of National City when I say that we are very lucky to have you. 

_Thank you._

 

After obligingly bringing my car (along with a severely traumatized driver) back to the ground, Supergirl flew off, no doubt to go save some other citizen-in-need. Stop some nere-do-well trying to blow up the city. 

Though her intentions are clear, her desire to do good admirable and her drive to protect mankind commendable; one cannot help but worry. For all her professed age and experience just how in control is our young hero? Will she be able to stand outside of the intimidating shadow of her fellow Kryptonian? Or will she end up doing more harm than good? What’s more; what can we as the citizen of National City do to protect ourselves should Supergirl ever decide she doesn’t need us anymore? 

None of us will ever forget the last time a visitor born of Krypton visited our little blue planet. Or the ensuing battle which leveled city blocks and made 9/11 look like a bad night out. Will our Girl of Steel measure up to the Caped Crusader, the Hero of Metropolis? Or the frightening visage of General Zod. Only time will tell. 

Intentions are wonderful things, pretty and nice to look at, but at the end of the day it’s all really about power. Those who have it and those who do not. As pure as her _intentions_ might be, whose to say how much damage those intentions might do? I'm sure Superman had great intentions in fighting General Zod, and yet thousands of people died as a result. How many innocent human lives will suffer while demigods battle in the skies? Will National City suffer as Metropolis and Central have suffered? With aliens and metahumans waging war amongst us, what are we normal humans to do? Are those who claim to protect us not doing more harm in inviting trouble to our door? Metropolis before Superman was hardly a crime magnet, and Central before the Flash was amongst the lowest in the country for violence or deaths. What will be the effect of Supergirls coming? Are there better days ahead? Or simply the same kind of destruction that has ravaged our neighbors for far too long. Who really came first after all; the chicken or the egg? Tweet @CatcoWorldwide with your take on America's newest superhero.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whelp there it is. I'm gonna do a couple more chapters for this and then start Part Two!


	6. Kara and Clark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A conversation of consequence between super cousins

**You gave an interview???**

**Kara what were you thinking?!**

 

_calm down you ninny_

_you give interviews all the time idk what the big deal is_

_I trust Cat a hell of a lot more than I trust Lois_

 

**Cat Grant compared you to General Zod! Lois would never do that, she’s a Pulitzer prize winning reporter who is trust worthy enough to tell the whole story.**

 

_you mean biased enough!!!_

_I didn’t expect Cat to paint me as a saint Clark, I expected her to give her perspective. and it’s a valid one!_

_you take for granted how people see us Kal-El. we are literally aliens. we have powers that normal human beings, even meta-humans likes Barry could never even imagine. we are literally like gods to them. why should they trust us? just because we say we’re nice? we have so much power over them_

_I’m not worried about how people will see me Clark, but I do care that there is an unbiased voice out there talking about it. unlike Lois._

 

**It’s more than that Kara, it’s dangerous. Now my enemies know you and I are connected. What if they come after you to get to me?**

 

_you think they wouldn’t notice that we’re wearing the same outfit??? the big S sort of gives it away dontcha think? we were always going to have to worry about something like this happening if I came out. you can’t be just now realizing that_

_Clark?_

_Omigoodness you dumbass how are you this obtuse????_

 

**I don’t like it**

 

_Too bad. I have enemies of my own now, not to mention the people who have and will come after me because of my connection to you. that’s just the way it is. just like the criminals loose from the Fort Rozz fragment come after me for my relation to my mom. I’m in this. it is officially official and there is no putting the toothpaste back in the tube. I’m out and we’re just going to have to deal with the consequences._

 

**Kara. What do you mean criminals? Why haven’t I heard of this?**

 

_Um….oops?_

_I’m sorry, I meant to tell you I’ve just been busy_

_after you and I stole back my pod Alex came to me. she explained some things- we talked...it was a lot. but she also reconfigured my mother’s IA- similar to Jor-El’s but slightly more interactive._

_she amazes me sometimes, I mean who else do you know who can reconfigure advanced alien technology and mod it to earth-technology so that it’s capable of functioning? just- wow ya know?_

_she also explained that a few years ago a fragment of an intergalactic prison called Fort Rozz crashed onto earth releasing unkown criminals on earth. all of who have something of a bone to pick with Alura’s daughter. my mother put a lot of dangerous people away; I’ve been busy._

_Alex still doesn’t like that I’m working on my own but- I don’t trust the DEO. besides I’m not alone, I have Winn and James._

 

**Great so my cousin is fighting escaped alien criminals with a photojournalist and the IT guy**

**Perfect**

 

_well when you say it like that_

 

**I just worry Kara. You’re still new at this, and Bruce still hasn’t told me what he’s doing with the DEO.**

 

_you think I don’t worry about you? relative age or not you’re still my baby cousin. I changed your diapers! I cleaned your spitup off of my favorite dress and watched you learn to walk! now you’re off saving the world on a regular basis. of course I worry. that’s what family does._

_and Bruce can go suck on a lemon._

 

**I’m sure he’ll appreciate the sentiment. I’ll still keep an eye on the situation, whatever is going on I don’t want anything to happen to Alex because of it.**

 

_thanks Clark. was Lois mad?_

 

**Livid. She still hasn’t stopped yelling about it actually. You owe me.**

 

_Psch as if!_

_She doesn’t hold the monopoly on super’s you know. just because you only ever talk to her doesn’t mean I have to._

 

**I don’t only ever…**

 

_ahuh_

_Winn’s here. we’re watching Battlestar Galactica to celebrate my recent pwnage of that big angry guy who kicked your ass last year._

 

**You’re what of who now?**

**You DID WHAT?**

**Kara he almost killed me!!**

 

_yeah that reminds me, we need to work on your battle strategy. you know just tossing people around isn’t actually a valid way of solving your problems right?_

 

**You sound like Diana**

 

_Good, you should start listening._

 

**About Winn….**

**Is there something I should know...about the two of you?**

**I know what you said about Ban-Ko but**

**Well I thought there might have been...something the last time I saw you two.**

**Not that I don’t approve! Really, he’s nice. I like him. I mean he’s a bit...much. But I realize I can be slightly intimidating**

 

_slightly lol_

_Um_

_Well...here’s the thing._

_The thing is_

_Well_

_Y’know there’s. This thing_

 

**Kara, you know you can tell me anything right?**

 

_I know, I know it’s just_

_Okay_

_You remember how I said on Krypton there were tri-bonds? Triangle relationships where sometimes you would have two people that you were genetically inclined towards...um_

_Winn...is sort of_

_My _Halarath Morum__

_Surprise!_

_I mean I know it should technically be impossible Winn's not Kryptonian and genetic inclinations are only supposed to be within the planetary structure which was of course destroyed thirteen years ago but there's no mistaking a bond once you see someone for the first time it's sort of a- a WHAM y'know? Like that first breath of air after you've been underwater for a long time._

_I mean_

_It is impossible_

_completely, totally impossible_

_and yet_

 

**What!!!!**

**Kara that’s amazing! I’m so happy for you!**

**Wait, what does that mean for you?**

**Are you two together?**

 

_not exactly_

 

**What do you mean not exactly?**

 

_I haven’t told him_

 

**Whyever not!**

 

_It’s complicated_

 

**Kara I’ve met the man for less than five minutes and even I can see he is head over heels in love with you.**

**What’s so complicated about that?**

 

_Clark I don’t- I don’t think you can really understand what it’s like to lose a _Halanath Morum_ _

_It’s...it’s more than just loss. I was- am, literally physically different than I was before. I spent months in hospital relearning how to breath, how to speak, walk. I had to relearn how to **live**. _

_So yes I’m afraid of being with Winn like that. Afraid of losing him but it’s more than that its- Clark how can I be with him when I could break him as easy as breathing? What if I have a nightmare? What if I- idk, forget? Even for a moment? What kind of power imbalance is that?_

_I don’t know how to have a normal relationship Clark. not..like this. not how I am. Winn is..he is so important. he is so precious and I can’t- I can’t even think about losing him. It would destroy me. I wouldn’t survive it. not again._

 

**Kara...I can’t say there isn’t risk. There is, every relationship bears that possibility of loss or hurt.**

**When me and Lois first got together I was- elated, yes. But I was so afraid of touching her. Hurting her accidentally. We- like you said- we’re gods to them. Capable of so much. But d’you know what she said to me?**

**I trust you.**

**Relationships are about trust, Kara, not just trusting the other person but trusting yourself. I’ve spent my life learning control. You’ve spent the last thirteen years mastering it. You’ve come so far Kara, and you are so much stronger than me.**

**Lois is the best thing that ever happened to me. She never, not for one moment, let my fear stand in her way. She just, charged in like always and damn the consequences. That’s how she is.**

**And I am thankful for that every day. That she didn’t let fear stand in the way of what we could have. What we do have.**

**Kara you and Winn deserve to be happy. You deserve a second chance. You’re right I can’t begin to imagine what it’s like to lose someone like you have. I can’t begin to picture what that would be like, or the fear that comes from trying again. But you can’t let fear stop you from living. From loving, Kara.**

**You’re the bravest person I know. You’re brave enough for this.**

**Kara?**

**Kara is everything okay?**

**Kara I’m getting worried, I’ve texted Jimmy and he hasn’t heard from you either. Neither has Winn. If you get this I’m on my way.**

 

_I’m okay but we have a problem._

_Astra’s alive, and she's on earth._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know I said a couple more chapters but I think this is gonna be the last one for this fic. It might be a bit before Part Two is ready to be posted, but it is coming. it will be considerably longer and more involved, with a great deal more detail and angst. This has set up the situation, laid the foundation for the plot as well as the Kara/Lena/Winn ship that I totes just invented your welcome. 
> 
> Anyway I hope you guys have enjoyed this! Let me know in the comments


End file.
